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Dave Log 2.0

Nov. 20th, 2007 | 11:23 am
mood: busybusy

Well, I haven't updated in a while. I've basically switched over to myspace, as distasteful as I find that. However I'm not going to let my livejournal die, necessarily. Instead, it's just going to have to switch formats.

See, I've started a blog on Myspace, a slightly different sort of blog than the one I kept here, one that I update daily with (mostly) short entries, and once a week content updates. And once a week, as the plan goes, I will copy the previous weeks blog entries and post them here, in a giant, giant chunk. These chunks will be reverse dated, the oldest at the bottom, and newest at the top, as is the custom with such blogs. The "content update," a poem, writing sample, etc. will always top these entries, so if you just want to read that you can.

I missed the first week of this, so I'll post it now. This weeks entries will appear here tomorrow, so keep an eye peeled for it.

Or don't.

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(no subject)

Apr. 12th, 2007 | 12:46 am
mood: sadsad

Kurt Vonnegut is dead.

I'm going to name my first child after him.

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Mar. 6th, 2007 | 12:57 am
mood: Paradox
music: Animal Collective

How is it Becky always manages to get me to spill my guts? It would be annoying if it weren't so therapeutic.

Anyway, I've been in an almost inconceivably good mood the last week or two, as I'm currently suffering from the sort of crush I thought I had left behind back in my high school days. I shan't name names in such a public forum, but I'm guessing many of you know whom I'm talking about, (for instance, Becky, thanks to said guts spilling she innitiated earlier) So surprisingly, I've been very chipper and optimistic for the majority of two weeks now.

But here's the thing:

I'm fairly certain I have no chance with this person, for a huge enough of a reason that  can't name it here for the sake of secrecy.

Anyway, this was all fine and good, as I was perfectly content riding the happy feelings the crush produced along through a slightly rough patch in my life. However, I knew that the momentum wouldn't last forever, and soon, one day the chancelessness of this person's mutual affection would over take any positive afflictions the crush might have had on me.

Well, I think that day was today. And how it sucks...

It's just I really think we'd be great for each other, a perfect match even, if it weren't for that one tiny enormous thing, but that doesn't even matter because of that one tiny enormous thing!

 So now I'm cranky at everyone. That's what Becky wanted to talk to me about. I was being "negative" she said. You see, I called her a trophy wife in training, which was actually very untrue, and very unkind of me, and I didn't really mean it. And then, in attempting to later apologize, I inadvertantly called her "prudish," which again, is not entirely accurate and was certainly not nice of me to say.

So I tried to defend myself, say I wasn't being as critical as she accused, and that I hadn't really meant what I said. But, as I soon realized, she was mostly right. The last several days I've been just completely annoyed with almost everyone for no particular reason. Friends, co-workers, loved ones, people who my mom married for some reason... all have come under the cross hairs of my all-encompassing annoyance these past several days. And mostly I've kept it in check, aside from the occassional "trophy wife" comment or describing a step-parent in my livejournal as someone "who my mom married for some reason."

Still, it was really good to talk to Becky about all this, seeing as there are few other people I feel comfortable talking to about my spiritual life, prayer, God, etc. Maybe I'm afraid someone will try to talk me out of it if I'm too open with that sort of thing.

Well there's no real conclusion here to any of this, so I guess I'll end by saying that I'll keep you updated on the state of my ridiculous crush.

In other news, I apparently have a myspace account! And that's about the end of that story, because what the hell could I have on a myspace profile that's worth talking about? A song? A youtube video? Maybe some random crap i filled out? Yes yes and yes. The biggest attraction, however, is a link to my Live Journal where, gasp! you already are! Congratulations! Here's a link: David's Myspace.  I am, however, considering dual posting my Live Journal entries into my myspace blog, to further my influence as a blogger to a whole another 14 people! Including Tom! Wowsers!

In other other news, they should be announcing the winners of the Edith Garlow poetry contest any day now. I'm excited, but also a little afraid. I've worked myself so up about winning this thing that I'm going to be devastated even if I get second place. I mean, I've already pretty much planned out how I'm going to spend the prize money (half goes to car payments, the other to a new Xbox 360 and some games, a tenth to tithing and maybe a contribution or two to political causes of great concern). It's actually pretty hilarious how sure I am that I'm going to win, considering I don't have a drop of evidence to that effect and how much trouble I had with this poem in general. I mean, I really really hope I win, I can't really take another disappointment at the moment, but a certain part of me wants to see me lose just so I learn a lesson on getting my hopes up like that. I'll be pretty freaking sad though. Ugh. See a theme developing in this update? Anyway...

Goodnight everybody!

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Neil Cavuto is trying to kill you

Feb. 26th, 2007 | 11:18 pm
mood: angryangry
music: Flaming Lips

Every now and then Iike to check out the state of the alternate reality that our Republican friends seem to inhabit, so I turn to the best source for such information, Fox News Channel. It's pretty incredible what they report as "News", and often even more incredible what they don't.

So anyway, this afternoon I flip on FNC, aptly located the next channel up from Sci-Fi, and have a seat on my big green leather sofa. Your World with Neil Cavuto was on, fine fine. His guest was Jonathan Hoenig, apparently a regular on the program, an "expert" of some sort or another. He was evidently discussing global warming, and since he was innapropriately labelled an "expert" I assumed he held the same opinion as every other actual expert, that global warming was a threat that needed to be dealt with immediately.

Had I looked at the bottom of the screen, this erronious logic would have been corrected immediately. The title of the segment was "Will fighting global warming bankrupt America?" A classic Fox answer-in-a-question title if there ever was one. It was then that the following came out of Jonathan Hoening's surely-fang-filled maw:
"Neil, if you listen to what the Greens say, they hate industry. They hate the modern advanced technological industrial economy. They believe that man should be subordinate to nature and I just don't see how our economy or our markets will thrive when you give more rights to a stupid owl than a human being."

"The Greens, Neil, they hate development. Whether it's logging; whether it's nuclear power; whether it's lumber; whether it's coal; whether it's mining, they hate anything that pushes society forward and I'm sorry if you want to save the caribou. Caribou can't start a company. Caribou can't invent the next [inaudible]."

"The Greens, Wayne, would say we should have no energy. They would say we should have horseback because whatever it is, whether it's wind power or nuclear or whatever, they hate energy in general."

Mr. Cavuto of course agreed in full.

I'd like to point out now that it is highly unlikely that Neil Cavuto got a show if he was devastatingly retarded, even one on Fox News Channel (The 1/2 Hour News Hour of course being the exception to this rule.) Therefore one can assume that Neil Cavuto has indeed considered the overwhelming evidence supporting the existence of man-made global warming. Unless he is deeply in denial, he must realize how recklessly dangerous it is to allow people like Jonathan Hoening to voice their stupid, recklessly dangerous, stupid opinions in a national forum, being tantamount to yelling "fire" in a crowded theater, or at least inviting Jonathan Hoening to yell "fire" there. He must know where this sort of behavior inevitably leads, to the destruction of the entire human race. (You heard it here first, Fox News is actively trying to destroy the planet)

Neil Cavuto surely knows this, and yet he chooses to behave this way just the same. So what is his motive in all this? Is he a nihilist? A terrorist? Just an all around Republican psychopath? Whatever the case, his behavior is 100% unacceptable to any concientious human being.

This goes beyond mere political squabbling, because, as I'm sure we can all agree, global warming is not a political issue. It is a survival issue. We cannot stand for this behavior. I'm not sure what to do just yet, but something has to be done. I'm perfectly willing to accept Fox New's existance as an alternative political viewpoint in a world often made from muddled hues of gray, rather than one of definative black and whites. What I'm not willing to accept is misinformative propaganda designed with the intended extinction of the entirety of mankind.

I'm thinking of perhaps a letter writing campaign of some sort, hopefully one taking a slightly more diplomatic tone than my above writing.  (I will likely exclude any reference to anyone possibly being "devastatingly retarded" for instance) Anyone else have any ideas? Anyone else as mad about this sort of thing as I am? Anyone want to help write letters?

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Relationship-stupid, Money-stupid, Stupid-stupid

Dec. 29th, 2006 | 02:20 pm
mood: stressedstressed
music: Vic Thrill

So I've ben reading over some old entries in my LJ. Really old, like Theresa-era stuff. After evaluating those and some recent data having to do with me and Kerri's late relationship, I've come to the conclusion I suck at dating. I don't know what the hell it is, I'm just too open with potential love interests or something. I'm pretty sure I'll never go out with a girl who loves me as much as I love them. Which sucks.

At least Kerri and me are still friends.

Actually, I've been behaving pretty pitifully within the context of this whole breakup. I have been transparently making attempts to maneuver myself back into going out with Kerri, who seems less than interested. Fine. Still, it's still an asshole move on my part.

So for those keeping score, things I know I suck at:
  • Relationships
  • Personal Finances
  • Gainful Employment
  • Healthy Living
  • and to a varying extent school work
I went on a medical withdrawl from school a few weeks back, btw. They gave me a full refund, which I wasn't expecting. Now I can devote myself full time to contemplating how much I suck, lol. I'm still working periodically at EB, but not nearly enough to dig myself out of debt, a subject I haven't often brought up in this Journal because it's so fucking stressful that even thinking about it too much gives me a stomach-ache. My cellphone hasn't worked for weeks, because of unpaid Cingular Wireless bills, which continue piling up despite the paperweight status of my phone, due to my contract with the company. It's okay though because I was at the point where I was afraid to answer it anyway, lest it be bill collectors or the sort. They've apparently started calling my work, which they've gotten the number of somehow, which I'm pretty sure is illegal. My manager Yaron seemed cool about it though, even if I'm not. It's hard to sleep because of the stress.

It feels like things can never get better. I know people say that all the time when its not really true, things can get better, but for me its hard to see that.

At least my writing is good at the moment.

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Virtual Consol Wishlist

Nov. 29th, 2006 | 06:49 am
mood: nerdynerdy
music: Wii Menu Music

Nerd alert again.

Here are some games I'd love to be playing on the Wii's virtual console in the near future, and my evaluation of just how likely my dreams will become my reality:

1. Earthbound (SNES)- One of my absolute favorite games of all time, I'm talking top five. Great music, great story, and possibly the greatest final boss of all time. Nintendo owns it 100% and it has a fairly rabid fan base, but as anyone left waiting for an English translation of Mother 3 (Earthbound is Mother 2 in Japan) knows, Nintendo has shown this franchise very little love over the years. Still, Earthbound's Ness is in the exceedingly popular Smash Bros. and I'm sure there's some littl'uns out there wondering just where the school-aged psychic came from. I'd say this has a 50% chance of making it onto the vc within a year.

2. Pilotwings 64 (N64)- Somehow this game just continued to be fun for me all the way through my childhood and into the start of my adulthood. I still haven't packed my old N64 up and put it in the basement just yet, and this game is primarily the reason why. It was one of two launch titles (imagine if a system launched today with two titles) for the N64, and is still fondly remembered, so I'd give this a solid 90% chance of getting onto the vc within a year. In fact, I'm willing to bet this'll be the next N64 game we'll be seeing. I hope the vc gives it that extra graphical polish it gave Mario 64, with smoother polygons, more solid textures, etc.

3. Super Mario All-Stars (SNES)- What? Nintendo put a single, $8 SNES game on the Wii Shop when they could instead divide up the content into four $5 NES titles? Hahahahahahaha! Not a chance, despite the graphical upgrade this version gave these classics. In fact, Nintendo is still selling ports of each of these titles on the GBA for about twenty bucks a pop... so at most expect to see a bare bones Super Mario Bros. 1 NES game on the Wii very soon, and not much else for a while. And the version of Super Mario All-Stars that included Super Mario World? Decrease the chances of seeing that anytime soon to a big fat negative 600%.

4. The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask (N64)- Occarina of Time's oft overlooked sequel, a very very good but very very different game from its predicessor, which despite having (if I remember correctly) like only four dungeons, had a very meaty quest to it, thanks mostly to the increased focus on sidequests and the unfairly-bashed repeating three day cycle mechanic. It's pretty incredile the direction they went with this one. I mean, the new Zelda, Twilight Princess, is fantastic and everything, improving on alot of the ideas introduced in OoT, but it sticks to the Occarina formula rigidly. Yeah, yeah, you're a werewolf and all that, but aside from a weird feeling that you've accidently put Okami into your Wii, it doesn't change the gameplay that much (although many would argue thats not a bad thing). But Nintendo took a game widely being called the greatest of all time by completely legitamite gaming press (EGM, as I recall), and then made a sequel that borrowed a concept from a Bill Murray film, and costarred the creepy dude from the mask shop in Occarina. Plus, Tingle is introduced in this one... enough said. Chances of seeing it within a year? Well, lets just say Ocarina of Time is gonna need to come out first, which I imagine won't happen for at least 3 months to maximise Twilight Princess absorbtion, (a good bet is it will come out the same week Zelda:TP comes out for Gamecube) and then I imagine they're gonna wait at least six months before giving us more N64 Zelda... so maybe... 35%ish? Not all that good, at very least. We'll see it eventually, just maybe not for a little while. Maybe launch it the same week the Tingle RPG comes out? Huh, Nintendo?

5. Super Metroid (SNES)- Yeah, its coming allright. 95% chance, within the next year. I'll be shocked if we're not playing it by the Fourth of July.

6. Final Fantasy VI... or III... or however you want to number it... the one with Kefka! (SNES)- I have never finished this game. There, I said it. I've regularly called it my fave 2D FF, and yet I went through it without finishing twice: The first time for reasons forgotten, and the second because my ROM (tisk, tisk) erased itself 40 hrs in. (Serves you right, you pirate)... Unfortunantly... Square just ported this to the GBA. It's not even out yet! The chances of a eight dollar version of a $40 brand new GBA game coming out within a year... 2%, and that's generous.

7. Chrono Trigger (SNES)- Slightly better chance than the above. Nobody's heard they're planning to put this out on GBA, right? Still, the Chrono series is another mind-bogglingly unloved franchise by both Nintendo and the house that Chocobos built, so I'll give it about a 20% chance of coming out within a year. Cross your fingers...

8. Duck Hunt (NES)- Hmmm... do you think the Wiimote could be used in lieu of the NES's Zapper gun? If so, than this is the game to play, if for pure nostalgia alone. Plus, charging five bucks for a game that was on the same cartriage as Super Mario and came bundled with the NES originally anyway will make Nintendo feel a little better about letting one of their beloved Mario games go for so cheap, assuming my prediction about an impending SMB1 NES vc game turns out to be true. If Nintendo truely plans to sell that stupid looking "Zapper" attachment for the Wiimote that they showed at Space World, then this game would come out the same week that does. 65% of coming out within a year.

Also, I'd like to see the list of consoles covered by the vc expand... come on, how about some original Gameboy Games for, let's say, three dollars? Gameboy color could go for four... and if you have the Genisis, why not some of the ill-concieved Genisis expansions, like the 32X or Sega CD? Come on... I want my Sonic CD! And how bout Virtual Boy!? Virtual Boy on a Virtual Console, the joke is too good to let go.

And when's the freaking web-browser gonna come out? Or the News Channel?

Man, I love my Wii.

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Nerd Alert

Nov. 19th, 2006 | 10:52 pm


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Nov. 17th, 2006 | 11:38 am
mood: chipperchipper

I've been in a medium to heavy funk all this past week, a definite uptick from the previous week's light to medium. But all that has been temporarily washed away by sudden artistic developments. I'll get to that later. First, what have I been depressed about, and what have I been stressed about lately that contributed to such a bad mood:

  1. The whole "We're sorry, this card is blocked" situation with my paycard. This must be fixed soon, for nerdy videogame-launch related reasons (i.e. My Nintendo Wii preorder with about $150 remaining unpaid).
  2. The dwindling number of hours I'm working per week at EB Games. 5 hrs (not including some bonus hours working at another store) three weeks ago, 4 hrs last week, and only 3 this week. I think they are trying to send me a message, but I'm genuinely putting %100 into the job, and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I think either they don't like me, or I might just be a bad worker. (Or a little of both, possibly) Point is, I'm not making enough to cover gas, let alone phone and car payments.
  3. There is a Kerri related situation which, for her privacy's sake, I won't go into details about in such a public forum.
  4. General schoolwork related stresses, and that I have yet to formally "drop" two classes I'm dropping.
  5. Feeling more depressed than I should be, in my opinion.
  1. Kerri might hate me.
  2. People at work might hate me.
  3. I haven't been able to get any creative stuff done lately, and feel doubts about even my abilities as a writer.
  4. The usual assortment of guilts and fears I deal with on a daily basis.
  5. Feeling more stressed than I should be, in my opinion.
And that's about it. Anyway, I was still feeling that way as of going to sleep, Wednsday night, but on Thursday, it got completely thrown aside...


Because I finally wrote a draft of "Ruth" that I feel good about! It's not perfect, by any means, but at least I have something to work with at last. It's REALLY long, and the middle sort of breaks apart, but I feel like I can fix it up with minimal tinkering, and it will certainly be ready for the poetry contest, next semester. It feels great to actually have something I feel worth printing out after 6 months of planning and false start after start after start. This is probably the sixth version I started writing, and the only one I've "finished" yet, so I'm really excited after all this time.

Anyway, this doesn't solve anything, except maybe partly Depression #3, but perhaps I can parlay this elevation of mood into getting some of the other things taken care of. We'll have to see...

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Job Insecurity

Nov. 3rd, 2006 | 10:02 pm
mood: peacefulpeaceful
music: Beck - The Information

My stepfater, Marty got fired, or laid off, or something roughly equivelant, aparently. I don't know any of the details. I got home from school, before noon, and Marty came down to give me a message he had taken for me on the telephone. I asked why he was at home and not at work, and he muttered something along the lines of, "They don't want me anymore." He and I don't always get along, but I feel bad for him; he didn't seem to be taking it very well. I offered "Are you okay?" And I think he might have responded "no," when it occured to me that this was inherently a dead end conversation, just due to the nature of Marty and my relationship, or lack of thereof. I felt kinda guilty at leaving the conversation on that note, but he turned around and went back upstairs before the discussion went any further.

I was hoping to ask mom to fill in the details, but I couldn't get her on the phone, and I had work until 8:30, and apparently they've gone to synagogue. (Which also means their car's repairs are done and I no longer have to drive them around, which has resulted in late arrivals at class and the occassional abrubtly interupted nap.

...Ah... Just as I finished typing that last part, I heard a stirring upstairs. Parents are aparently still here, aparently without a car... nuts. Anyway, I'll finish this post later then.

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(no subject)

Oct. 23rd, 2006 | 09:06 pm
mood: calmcalm
music: Matthew Friedberger


I have to drop comp2, which is unfortunant because I like the teacher (whom I've had before), and she had put me in contact with a poet  friend of hers who has been helping me out with my own poetry ("Ruth", in particular) via email correspondance. The teacher, Proffessor Raman, is very strict, something which I admire about her, but ultimately lead to my downfall this symester. She has a policy that if you fail to turn in even one assignment, on time and complete, you fail the course. Well, a paper I thought was due Weds. was actually due today, and I was only halfway done it, so I flunk, unless of course I drop the course. If I had anything to blame other than forgetting and failing to recheck the due date, I'm fairly certain that the teacher would like me enough to hear me out, but I don't. Crap. It was a really good paper too, I was excited about it.

I still like the teacher's methods for the most part, so might see if I can get her class next semester.

I don't usually like to talk about work here, but I sold two subscriptions today, which is good. Tommorrow and Thursday I'm filling in at the EB at the Gallery in center city, so I'll probably take the L Train in. I'm working nearly 30 hours this week, so money shouldn't be an issue for a bit, (Once I get paid) but I'll be pretty exhausted.

That's it for now, so long.

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